Soul Star Travelers of Elven World

Soul Star Travelers of Elven World, Magick of Tuatha de Danann

What I experience, requesting help/opinions of what I could be.

This place doesn't seem to get a lot of traffic... so I'll just leave this here for when someone does come by and sees it. These are the things I've experienced in my er... Kinhood? Odd word any who. Please forgive the organization structure, it's more for me to stay organized in posting this.

 Phantom Limbs:

My phantom limbs almost never experience pain. On rare occasion I'll get a wing cramp, which I feel outside my physical body. However that's it, I haven't never felt someone walk through or touch my phantom limbs.

  • Something that feels like wings on my back. They attach right around the shoulder blades. I can move them for the most part, but my left one seems to be bound or has some kind of injury. I can leave my body spiritually and fly, but I use magic to fly. My wings aren't necessary.
  • I feel some kind of of thing on top of my head. I can move them I think. for the longest time I thought they where fox ears. However they very well could be horns. I felt them jerk forward at one point, like they grew an inch. That hurt. I generally have to focus on them to feel them? Unless they are something else entirely. Possibly a second kintype? If I really do also have a kitsune kintype, I am still unsure and it feels less likely.
  • I seem to feel an extension past my physical ear. Like what I'd imagine Elf ears to be like? I can't really say much past that because there isn't much to it. I can move them around a bit but that's it.
  • At rare times I'll feel a tail, I generally have to focus on it to feel it. I can't tell if it's just one tail or more then one.
  • Whenever I have decided to active feed off energy, be it ambient energy I collect or from people. I can feel phantom fangs, almost like a vampires. However this only happens when I decide to engage in such things. I do not need to feed, and I've studied up on psychic vampirism, so I am aware of it happening. It doesn't happen unless I wish for it consciously. Ambient energy is either energy left around, or energy from the moon... oddly.
  • Other very rare ones are feeling fur along my entire body, that gets overwhelming fast. I do not believe I've ever felt a muzzle? If I have it's extremely rare to the point I can't remember it.

This seems to be all I really experience in terms of phantom limbs. If I remember anything else I'll let you know.

Synergies:
I have a few things I heavy resonate or synergize with. Things that feel like they draw or pull me. Others calm me.

  • The Moon: is probably one of the biggest ones. I've always felt heavily drawn to the moon.
  • Night is another big one, it correlates with the moon in a sense. However not just the moon and darkness call me, the stars also do. I feel alive outside at night, I love taking walks at night. Especially if there are nature areas around me.
  • Water as a whole, swimming, rain, thunderstorm... even taking a shower is very relaxing to me. I feel like my elemental affinity might even be water. Last December I had the chance to swim in the ocean again. I hadn't done that since I was a child, the previous ocean trip the waves where way too violent. I put on some flippers and dove for shells for hours it felt like. Being under the water was like being at peace, belonging... for what felt like the first time. I felt like I was finally home. I have considered aquatic fae due to this.
  • Nature, forests, streams anything like that. Being out in nature gives me the same kind of endorphin hit that being in my lovers arms does. If it has a stream running through the woods, even better.
  • Music, I have a deep love and need for music. I mostly listen to techno now a days. 

Physical things:

Of course, these physical oddities could be absolutely nothing. Some people claim some traits physically do come from otherkin.

  • Night Vision, I have very strong night vision. My eyes also transition pretty quickly from light to dark environments. I can make out everything in the dark, except maybe fine details.
  • On the flip side, I have photophobia. Which means bright lights hurt me. Flashing lights have been known to give me a migraine.
  • I am also headache/migraine prone. Especially in public with a ton of people.
  • I have had prophetic dejavu, aka seeing the future. Sometimes I remember seeing it ahead of time, other times I don't. Like they come in a dream. The dreams of the future are rare now a days, but I've had them a few times. I get the prophetic Dejavu's about once or twice a month. I have been seeing them as... checkpoints I guess? If I don't have one for a long while, I'll assume I'm no longer on the right path.
  • I also have empathy, and some other psychic abilities. Although they are nothing of granger. I can read emotions through text, can generally tell when someone is upset even via text. I tend to get feelings about people I meet immediately, and they are rarely wrong. When I was younger I could guess the color of someone's walls. First try I'd get it right. However I've lost this ability as I got older. Was very bazar. 
  • Irish descendant, specifically I'm from the house Duncan. I do have ginger hair.
  • Eyes, people have said my eyes change colors. Someone even said once my eyes turned purple. Sadly I didn't have a mirror or anyway to see it myself. My eyes are extremely light colored, they look grey from a distance with a grey-blue dark line around them. Once you get up close is when color is obvious, they are a light blue, with some green splotches. I also have partial heterochromia, my right eye has a brown splotch that looks like a crown above my pupil. There is no brown in my left eye.
  • My hearing is honestly insane, I don't know if it's cause of my "audio processing disorder". Or if it's something else, basically I can hear everything around me and I can't filter out anything. 
  • I honestly think I'm stronger then I should be? I'm not claiming super human strength or anything, but I'm a 5'3 women at 150lbs... yet I can lift 50+ lbs with ease. I've never really worked out till recently either.
  • Being physical just feels odd to me. I bump into think constantly like I should be able to go through them. Feeling heat and cold also is very bazar to me when I was younger. Eating doesn't bother me much, probably cuz I see it as a simple pleasure, foodie.

Dreams:

My dreams are NEVER based in reality, or anything from the mortal realm really. Minus humans or humanoids.

  • I've had some recurring dreams since I was very young. The recurring is mostly just sequences. I have three or four that have showed up multiple times in my life. I could go into detail about them if someone wishes.
  • I am generally not myself, as in not who I am in this life in my dreams. I'm generally someone I don't know, yet they feel familiar. I don't keep track of them, so I don't know if they are all a small group. Or if it's random people every time. I've also been a male in 3 of my dreams, that I can recall.
  • I have had a few dreams of being what seems to be elf like? I posted one in my introduction, here it is again though:

    "I was some noble or maybe even a princess of the Fae. Walking along the beautifully colored brick roads. The bricks where hues of reds, yellows and oranges, the sidewalk was big, enough to accompany one car but there where no cars. The houses where beautiful, they where like reverse tear drops almost, with the points at the top. I couldn't even tell you what type of material it was made of. It looked almost wooden, like a whole tree had been turned into a house. The bark moved along the shape of the house. I was walking down the street with another women, I guess she was a maid? I'm not sure but I treated her like my best friend. We would be greeted by people we passed, gentle chatting and then continue on. The trees where also gorgeous, shades of red, oranges and yellows again. Some trees had pinks and purples, others blue and green. It was a very strange place honestly, but not in a bad way. It was like a world where nature, magic and the people lived in harmony. Ofc we also had pointed ears. Waking up from that was caused severe culture shock."

    I also had one where I was in some type of... I don't know? It looked like an amphitheatre. It was made out of some type of white stone, and there where people gathered in the seating area. I was sitting on the stage, and I was being exanimated if I was one of these people. To be clear they all had elven ears, very graceful and beautiful looking. It seemed like a majority of them where wearing robes. I remember I had blond hair and I kept telling myself I was going to fail. However they told me I was one of them after the test. Surprised me. I may have had pointed ears but I am unsure.

That's pretty much all for dreams atm.

Visions: 
I struggle with visions honestly, meditation doesn't come easily to me. So getting visions is rare, it also doesn't help that I doubt myself on them a lot. It is also very rare for me to have a strong visual during these things. Most of the time I just feel movements, feel emotions, so on. Forewarning some of these are a wee bit violent, I've dumbed it down though.

  • Felt falling then an impact on my back. Stood up and made light shaft appear on my hands, golden in color that turned into swords. Dueled with whoever hit me out of the sky. He got my right cheek, right shoulder and finally stabbed his sword through my left lung. Leaving himself open and I slammed my sword through his head. I stumbled back and fell to the ground. Ripped the sword our and screamed as blood came up my throat, I spit it on the ground and began to heal myself. Someone came and helped me up, then took off flying since my wings where damaged or broken.
  • I had this crazy dream a long time ago that was all in black... like everything was a shadow. I was cutting through monsters with a giant scythe... They where all like shadows but at the same time I could see what they where. Originally I thought they where demons but, obviously not. I think they might have been void monsters. I believe I was killing them as they where coming out of a gate of some kind. It was probably the most exhilarating thing ever.
  • sit cross legged and put your forefinger and thumb together, creating a tight-ish tear drop shape. Put it on the gore of your chest and let it pull negative energy to it. Also help it a bit. When ready trap it there, flip your hands over and press them into the ground. So the forefingers are facing you.
  • I walked into what seemed to be like a war tent. The main tent from what I could tell. In front of me was a male with honey golden brown skin, pure white hair, golden slit eyes and white wings on his back. I knew I was the same coloration as him. I was wearing armor that seemed to be from semi-medieval times?

I've had other visions but I've come to accept they are probably fake, or I made them up. I still have them all written down however.

Other things:

  • Nocturnal; I have a much easier time sleeping when the sun is up. If it wasn't for the fact that I had to do things during the day. I'd still be nocturnal, it's much simpler for me. I have a lot more energy during the night, and sleeping at night can be difficult. Along with being much more quiet. 
  • Death doesn't bother me, for some reason I've never been bothered by death. Even as a child, for me it's just "They are in a better, safer place now." I even feel maybe it should be celebrated? Someone's passing?
  • Grey-Asexual aka Demisexual; I don't know if this really counts for anything, however I do not experience any type of physical attraction. My attraction comes purely from mental and emotional bonds with someone. The same goes for my romantic orientation.
  • I asked someone to describe my energy, this maybe wrong but they said: Old, Calm, Dark, Heavy, Large and Civilized (Instead of chaotic). He said my energy reminds him of autumn colors. This person is not really into the occult persay so his reading could be wrong. He is pretty gifted with tarot though.

If you have any questions let me know. I would like whatever in sight you can give me into what I could possibly be. If you relate to any of these things? At the moment I'm mostly considering Sidhe in the Elf like appearance variant. I also have said I've considered some type of aquatic Fae, like a Naiad or Nereid. Today for some reason I've woken up pondering being some type of Angel again. One that never severed a master, must be because of my wings. They are probably what I feel and notice the most while doing things that don't require a lot of focus.

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About phantom limbs, I find that name funny. It is just your astral body taking different form and forming limbs. Astral body can easily shape-shift as it is not made of such stiff energy as physical one. Anyone in astral and other non material spheres can shape-shift.

You also seem to have taken your senses and abilities from your past life, that happens sometimes too, especially if you developed them a lot in your past life or lives and really used them. I think you should make a list of them and then use it for your detective work in figuring yourself out. it seems to give you a lot of info about yourself, I read here your abilities, your customs you are not giving up, it all defines you.

Thank you very much for your reply. Yeah Phantom Limbs is an odd one, I used to call it my phantom body but people got confused by that. I have more then just limbs, I have a whole phantom body. I try my best not to shape shift because it can cause heavy confusion. It actually used to be super bad. I'd wake up every morning in a different form. I've been enforcing a "True form" policy unless I want to specifically shape shift. It seems to help but I can never tell if I'm in my true form or not. Doesn't help that I found out not just Fae shapeshift, but Elves too. 

Morell Sunweaver said:

About phantom limbs, I find that name funny. It is just your astral body taking different form and forming limbs. Astral body can easily shape-shift as it is not made of such stiff energy as physical one. Anyone in astral and other non material spheres can shape-shift.

You also seem to have taken your senses and abilities from your past life, that happens sometimes too, especially if you developed them a lot in your past life or lives and really used them. I think you should make a list of them and then use it for your detective work in figuring yourself out. it seems to give you a lot of info about yourself, I read here your abilities, your customs you are not giving up, it all defines you.

LOL this post sounds like you could be writing a book on myself surrounding gifts I must say..my wings are huge and jet black formed via the Raven life guide that I have lol..do you also have Synesthesia by any chance or  even the ability to make light bulbs blow? or how does technology work for yah..does it fail or stuff up on you often, do battery watches stop suddenly?, cell phones etc blow up or fail & dont last long,other crazy stuff like that?..

I'm wondering still at why do you feel you have to choose some other humans formatted syntax of a being or thing to call yourself & fit into..you are who you are,.. you dont have to fit into a certain format or thing,your a gifted soul.. Is it any wonder your mind just laughs at you when you say you are going to change your habits or emotions when someone else is actually being the puppet master over you? Your mind knows all of your strengths and weakness's. It does its best to keep you where you are at the right time. It takes self-discipline and direction to become the master of your mind and in control of your own happiness..

You say you have soul guardians or a spirit animal guide? somewhere in this mass of text I caught that..one who could assist you too, because they totally understand your level of awareness and know that if you are wrong, why you are wrong and for what reason in what lifetime; they know why you feel like you do or why you behave as such, and all they can do is help you evolve with these tools of finding yourself through the polarities and dualism, like a parent trying to instruct its child into the world with the tools he feels is necessary for its survival (not always the truest way but is the intent of it that is valuable)... they understand a concept used by humans to understand things beyond their own acknowledgement of the same emotional feeling of that energy of understanding from higher aspect, when you understand another creature even with their flaws you are loving them in a latent way.,hense why I'm so connected to the animal world like a whisperer of sorts...and my soul guardians are continually assisting me through my daily life in so many ways...Although I neither set myself up as a Guru or anything, nor feel that way about myself even, people have so often said that my responses are like that of a Guru advising, I've always replied that the responsibility to carry and focus the energy of a conference session or process with a person inevitably leads to the presentation of only certain facets of my nature...I'm a communicator plus a ranter and I tell you there are many facets to my soul...

However to me Its like you know and recognise your gifts, but yet something in the back of your mind is doubting them, so you 'self saboutage' by the sounds of things and then feel lost thus seeking mode happens again??..

However to me Its like you know and recognise your gifts, but yet something in the back of your mind is doubting them, so you 'self saboutage' by the sounds of things and then feel lost thus seeking mode happens again??..

From my own case I don't think it is self sabotage, but rather evil magic of humanity trying to force us to be humans against our will and nature. A curse, that humans put on each other, possibly through religion, but the source is probably more broad.

BTW spirit of sage helped me a lot with such issues.

'Doubt' is self-saboutage Morell,cos your doing it within yourself...and yet its source has come via others outside influences...

however to me 'a curse' from others influence or religious input I can agree upon that idiology, religion is the worst culprit of mindwashing people and steering them away from their real path & true self via the BS of made up lies & mind altering tales..

'magic curse' or spell not so much as this worlds reality is but a manifested dream after all, created by all the souls in this 3D reality. Therefor power will become the dominant atmosphere, and weakness or vulnerability will be the personal quality. Another way of saying this is that the subconscious waking process of all humans in this 3D reality which in itself is another kind of dream reality becomes the dominant quality of the dream in many cases. When one is capable of noticing the subtle interplays in one's psyche and can immediately bring this into simple un-biased acknowledgment & self, control at this level cease and or can at least be anticipated. Then the outcome of ones personal choices is stable and unchangeable or unable to be influenced...this is not magic this is simply a maturity of the conscious mindset. People tend to wander this life with their noses to the ground like hound dogs seeking out something that is calling to them,but never really knowing just what it is, some know who they are but then allow others to change their paths for them, so they thus go back to being the hound again seeking out the scent trail they lost in their distraction from others..these are just metaphor's obviously, but you get where I'm coming from.

    AKC Celebrates its 200th Recognized Dog Breed - Bracco Italiano - Showsight

I think I do, but I'm not entirely sure, Vlada.

Gees the more I look at that image of the hound dog with his nose to the ground the more I actually want one myself.. isn't he a awesome creature,his nose is almost too big for his head...plus I can almost read his mind from his body language just in that picture, its like his wee brain is going in all directions,based purely on a scent he has up his nose, a snippet smell of what hes actually looking for which is much bigger..he wont let go of that scent though until he finds the bigger object.. well isn't that the same as what many people do, they search & search for answers to find them self or to the questions of why they are here,or where they came from etc... but really they just go deeper down a rabbit hole the more they search as other people fill their heads with their own misguided agenda's...

Its like religion when a priest says your to believe in Adam & Eve as the creator of human beings as God put them on the earth as the first humans.. but then ask the question back to the priest, you believe Adam & Eve as being the very first humans on this planet then who wrote about them & everything before they got here..also if this God in the sky is a actual being,then who created him...the answers they give back are just endless made up tales as misconstrued dogma,that anyone with any common sense would or should conceive them as total false truths to 'lead them up the garden path' as the old saying goes..to cause (someone) to go, think, or proceed wrongly as its actually deceiving their soul..

Many kinds of dog look like mutants to me. They have some beauty, but wolf is a wolf.

Yeah, it is really hard to swim through all that gibberish when trying to find some, or rather any real truth. Almost feels like waste of time trying to achieve that here on Earth. Humanity developed and was perfecting their system and it's safety traps for very long time.

So after talking for a while in Mythcord, getting information. I've come to the conclusion I am some type of Lunar Fae. So for now I'm going with that term. I'm not sure if I'll use the term Elf, because I can shapeshift into multiple different things. I have wings on my back almost constantly, I'm almost certain they are feathered wings. I can change into a Mer or a Cervitaur... there are some others ones but I can't recall them atm. I have heard Elven can shift, but I don't think they can completely shift into something else? Correct me if I'm wrong. There is also the fact that I feel like an energy being instead of a physical one.

ATM I'm wondering if I'm some type of Fae Dragon. I seem to have horns? I have a tail but it doesn't seem super long, then the wings. Those together make me think of a dragon of some kind, probably more eastern style. Fur and scales, but I don't know if I'm long an noodly outside my humanoid form. 

Of course elves can shape-shift completely into something else. Humans can do it too. (Familiar with books of Carlos Castaneda?) Also any race can have wings, elves too.

Eh I don't believe human beings can shape-shift. I've never believed in physical shifting among the human race and never will. Maybe in spirit but not our physical bodies. 
So Elves can completely shape-shift? Aren't they more physical beings though? Are they half physical half energy beings then or?
I have heard of the winged elves but I can't find anything on them.

Morell Sunweaver said:

Of course elves can shape-shift completely into something else. Humans can do it too. (Familiar with books of Carlos Castaneda?) Also any race can have wings, elves too.

Only the most powerful beings of any kind are able to shapeshift physical body here. astral body any race can shapeshift here. On other worlds it depends on physical laws of the world.

I don't think that there is anything on winged elves out there, as any winged being is automatically marked as angel here.

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