This place doesn't seem to get a lot of traffic... so I'll just leave this here for when someone does come by and sees it. These are the things I've experienced in my er... Kinhood? Odd word any who. Please forgive the organization structure, it's more for me to stay organized in posting this.
My phantom limbs almost never experience pain. On rare occasion I'll get a wing cramp, which I feel outside my physical body. However that's it, I haven't never felt someone walk through or touch my phantom limbs.
- Something that feels like wings on my back. They attach right around the shoulder blades. I can move them for the most part, but my left one seems to be bound or has some kind of injury. I can leave my body spiritually and fly, but I use magic to fly. My wings aren't necessary.
- I feel some kind of of thing on top of my head. I can move them I think. for the longest time I thought they where fox ears. However they very well could be horns. I felt them jerk forward at one point, like they grew an inch. That hurt. I generally have to focus on them to feel them? Unless they are something else entirely. Possibly a second kintype? If I really do also have a kitsune kintype, I am still unsure and it feels less likely.
- I seem to feel an extension past my physical ear. Like what I'd imagine Elf ears to be like? I can't really say much past that because there isn't much to it. I can move them around a bit but that's it.
- At rare times I'll feel a tail, I generally have to focus on it to feel it. I can't tell if it's just one tail or more then one.
- Whenever I have decided to active feed off energy, be it ambient energy I collect or from people. I can feel phantom fangs, almost like a vampires. However this only happens when I decide to engage in such things. I do not need to feed, and I've studied up on psychic vampirism, so I am aware of it happening. It doesn't happen unless I wish for it consciously. Ambient energy is either energy left around, or energy from the moon... oddly.
- Other very rare ones are feeling fur along my entire body, that gets overwhelming fast. I do not believe I've ever felt a muzzle? If I have it's extremely rare to the point I can't remember it.
This seems to be all I really experience in terms of phantom limbs. If I remember anything else I'll let you know.
I have a few things I heavy resonate or synergize with. Things that feel like they draw or pull me. Others calm me.
- The Moon: is probably one of the biggest ones. I've always felt heavily drawn to the moon.
- Night is another big one, it correlates with the moon in a sense. However not just the moon and darkness call me, the stars also do. I feel alive outside at night, I love taking walks at night. Especially if there are nature areas around me.
- Water as a whole, swimming, rain, thunderstorm... even taking a shower is very relaxing to me. I feel like my elemental affinity might even be water. Last December I had the chance to swim in the ocean again. I hadn't done that since I was a child, the previous ocean trip the waves where way too violent. I put on some flippers and dove for shells for hours it felt like. Being under the water was like being at peace, belonging... for what felt like the first time. I felt like I was finally home. I have considered aquatic fae due to this.
- Nature, forests, streams anything like that. Being out in nature gives me the same kind of endorphin hit that being in my lovers arms does. If it has a stream running through the woods, even better.
- Music, I have a deep love and need for music. I mostly listen to techno now a days.
Of course, these physical oddities could be absolutely nothing. Some people claim some traits physically do come from otherkin.
- Night Vision, I have very strong night vision. My eyes also transition pretty quickly from light to dark environments. I can make out everything in the dark, except maybe fine details.
- On the flip side, I have photophobia. Which means bright lights hurt me. Flashing lights have been known to give me a migraine.
- I am also headache/migraine prone. Especially in public with a ton of people.
- I have had prophetic dejavu, aka seeing the future. Sometimes I remember seeing it ahead of time, other times I don't. Like they come in a dream. The dreams of the future are rare now a days, but I've had them a few times. I get the prophetic Dejavu's about once or twice a month. I have been seeing them as... checkpoints I guess? If I don't have one for a long while, I'll assume I'm no longer on the right path.
- I also have empathy, and some other psychic abilities. Although they are nothing of granger. I can read emotions through text, can generally tell when someone is upset even via text. I tend to get feelings about people I meet immediately, and they are rarely wrong. When I was younger I could guess the color of someone's walls. First try I'd get it right. However I've lost this ability as I got older. Was very bazar.
- Irish descendant, specifically I'm from the house Duncan. I do have ginger hair.
- Eyes, people have said my eyes change colors. Someone even said once my eyes turned purple. Sadly I didn't have a mirror or anyway to see it myself. My eyes are extremely light colored, they look grey from a distance with a grey-blue dark line around them. Once you get up close is when color is obvious, they are a light blue, with some green splotches. I also have partial heterochromia, my right eye has a brown splotch that looks like a crown above my pupil. There is no brown in my left eye.
- My hearing is honestly insane, I don't know if it's cause of my "audio processing disorder". Or if it's something else, basically I can hear everything around me and I can't filter out anything.
- I honestly think I'm stronger then I should be? I'm not claiming super human strength or anything, but I'm a 5'3 women at 150lbs... yet I can lift 50+ lbs with ease. I've never really worked out till recently either.
- Being physical just feels odd to me. I bump into think constantly like I should be able to go through them. Feeling heat and cold also is very bazar to me when I was younger. Eating doesn't bother me much, probably cuz I see it as a simple pleasure, foodie.
My dreams are NEVER based in reality, or anything from the mortal realm really. Minus humans or humanoids.
- I've had some recurring dreams since I was very young. The recurring is mostly just sequences. I have three or four that have showed up multiple times in my life. I could go into detail about them if someone wishes.
- I am generally not myself, as in not who I am in this life in my dreams. I'm generally someone I don't know, yet they feel familiar. I don't keep track of them, so I don't know if they are all a small group. Or if it's random people every time. I've also been a male in 3 of my dreams, that I can recall.
- I have had a few dreams of being what seems to be elf like? I posted one in my introduction, here it is again though:
"I was some noble or maybe even a princess of the Fae. Walking along the beautifully colored brick roads. The bricks where hues of reds, yellows and oranges, the sidewalk was big, enough to accompany one car but there where no cars. The houses where beautiful, they where like reverse tear drops almost, with the points at the top. I couldn't even tell you what type of material it was made of. It looked almost wooden, like a whole tree had been turned into a house. The bark moved along the shape of the house. I was walking down the street with another women, I guess she was a maid? I'm not sure but I treated her like my best friend. We would be greeted by people we passed, gentle chatting and then continue on. The trees where also gorgeous, shades of red, oranges and yellows again. Some trees had pinks and purples, others blue and green. It was a very strange place honestly, but not in a bad way. It was like a world where nature, magic and the people lived in harmony. Ofc we also had pointed ears. Waking up from that was caused severe culture shock."
I also had one where I was in some type of... I don't know? It looked like an amphitheatre. It was made out of some type of white stone, and there where people gathered in the seating area. I was sitting on the stage, and I was being exanimated if I was one of these people. To be clear they all had elven ears, very graceful and beautiful looking. It seemed like a majority of them where wearing robes. I remember I had blond hair and I kept telling myself I was going to fail. However they told me I was one of them after the test. Surprised me. I may have had pointed ears but I am unsure.
That's pretty much all for dreams atm.
I struggle with visions honestly, meditation doesn't come easily to me. So getting visions is rare, it also doesn't help that I doubt myself on them a lot. It is also very rare for me to have a strong visual during these things. Most of the time I just feel movements, feel emotions, so on. Forewarning some of these are a wee bit violent, I've dumbed it down though.
- Felt falling then an impact on my back. Stood up and made light shaft appear on my hands, golden in color that turned into swords. Dueled with whoever hit me out of the sky. He got my right cheek, right shoulder and finally stabbed his sword through my left lung. Leaving himself open and I slammed my sword through his head. I stumbled back and fell to the ground. Ripped the sword our and screamed as blood came up my throat, I spit it on the ground and began to heal myself. Someone came and helped me up, then took off flying since my wings where damaged or broken.
- I had this crazy dream a long time ago that was all in black... like everything was a shadow. I was cutting through monsters with a giant scythe... They where all like shadows but at the same time I could see what they where. Originally I thought they where demons but, obviously not. I think they might have been void monsters. I believe I was killing them as they where coming out of a gate of some kind. It was probably the most exhilarating thing ever.
- sit cross legged and put your forefinger and thumb together, creating a tight-ish tear drop shape. Put it on the gore of your chest and let it pull negative energy to it. Also help it a bit. When ready trap it there, flip your hands over and press them into the ground. So the forefingers are facing you.
- I walked into what seemed to be like a war tent. The main tent from what I could tell. In front of me was a male with honey golden brown skin, pure white hair, golden slit eyes and white wings on his back. I knew I was the same coloration as him. I was wearing armor that seemed to be from semi-medieval times?
I've had other visions but I've come to accept they are probably fake, or I made them up. I still have them all written down however.
- Nocturnal; I have a much easier time sleeping when the sun is up. If it wasn't for the fact that I had to do things during the day. I'd still be nocturnal, it's much simpler for me. I have a lot more energy during the night, and sleeping at night can be difficult. Along with being much more quiet.
- Death doesn't bother me, for some reason I've never been bothered by death. Even as a child, for me it's just "They are in a better, safer place now." I even feel maybe it should be celebrated? Someone's passing?
- Grey-Asexual aka Demisexual; I don't know if this really counts for anything, however I do not experience any type of physical attraction. My attraction comes purely from mental and emotional bonds with someone. The same goes for my romantic orientation.
- I asked someone to describe my energy, this maybe wrong but they said: Old, Calm, Dark, Heavy, Large and Civilized (Instead of chaotic). He said my energy reminds him of autumn colors. This person is not really into the occult persay so his reading could be wrong. He is pretty gifted with tarot though.
If you have any questions let me know. I would like whatever in sight you can give me into what I could possibly be. If you relate to any of these things? At the moment I'm mostly considering Sidhe in the Elf like appearance variant. I also have said I've considered some type of aquatic Fae, like a Naiad or Nereid. Today for some reason I've woken up pondering being some type of Angel again. One that never severed a master, must be because of my wings. They are probably what I feel and notice the most while doing things that don't require a lot of focus.