Cant See For The Jungle.. Then Come Into My Forest -Pt2

[ënagualí~ᏉLAᗪἇ ኔጡ።]

Cant See For The Concrete Jungle, Then Come Into My Forest..

Reflections from my work space on moving your soul forward..Pt2

Come take off those work cloths & business suits & shoes, as healing times come upon us many times in our souls life paths, when we are left to think and ponder over pasts events, choices and wrong doings over the years or decisions in need for change right now, after you acknowledge that your mind tape has beaten you on something once again..

Eventually, you will acquire enough strength and wisdom to overcome your mind tape in the areas where it presently controls you.

Have you ever felt eyes burning a hole in the back of your head?

That burning glare… that shadow you can feel behind you, but you can’t see it because every time you turn around, it’s gone? There is a forest that such a feeling inhabits. When you are in this forest, you feel this all the time.

It’s The Tao Of The Trees.

It’s the moonless sky. The starless sky. In this dark, dense, foggy forest, you can feel the stare of the trees. You can see them judging you. Evaluating you. Weighing you. And you know you will never make the trees happy. You begin to fear the trees. So you run. You find new trees. And when you do…

The trees are happy. The new trees enjoy your company. They don’t judge you, because they don’t know you. And as soon as you let down your guard, the trees begin to hate you. The glare of the shadow returns. You no longer meet the standards of the trees. Suddenly, you see trees everywhere. And then you remember:

 

It’s a forest. The trees are everywhere. And so you run. You find new trees. And once again, the trees are happy. They enjoy your company. But inevitably, the trees will judge you. And the cycle will repeat itself. Over… and over… and over.

This forest is immense. It is gigantic. It seems infinite. The only thing is, it’s not. The forest does have an end. There are paths out of the forest. But these paths are long. At times, they are downhill, and easy. It feels good to finally have found a way out. You can feel the relief of finally getting out of the forest. The freedom from judgement, from oppression  from that awful burning glare of the shadow that judges your every thought. However, as you travel this path, it begins to rise. The path becomes steeper, and steeper.

And the path itself turns from soft mossy dirt, to hard rock and roots. The rocks occasionally slice open your bare feet, and at times, the slippery wet roots provide no traction for your foot, and you painfully fall down. It is at this point, that other paths appear. In fact, other paths have always been an option. These paths are clearly defined, and nice and soft. They slope downhill, and even have clearings that are visible, areas where the trees are at a distance, and cannot judge you.

So you finally decide to take that new soft, better path. You reach that clearing, and feel at ease. The trees are at a distance. Their gaze is but a small itch in your mind. You scratch that itch, and lie down to rest. Your wounds heal. You quench your thirst with a small amount of water that flows through a tiny stream nearby. Eventually, you are well rested, healed, and satisfied. Except for one thing… that itch. You try to scratch it now, but it won’t go away. The gaze of the trees… they are still judging you. Even from the distance that they are at, their burning glare is gradually getting hotter and hotter. It is as if the clearing is getting smaller, and smaller. Until it gets to the point, that it is as if there is no longer a clearing, and you are trapped in the surrounding judging forest again.

And so you run. And as you run, you find a new path. This one is nice, soft, and simple. But as you are a traveler upon it, feeling the excitement of finally getting out of the sickening judging forest, the path becomes difficult. The jagged rocks and roots injure and trip you, as the path rises and becomes steeper and steeper. And again, you find a new path that leads to a clearing, and you take it. Again you lick your wounds, free from the trees. But again, they close in on you, causing you to run, finding new paths, taking them until it becomes too difficult, and retreating to a clearing.

And as you repeat this process over, and over, and over, the memory of the previous time haunts you, causing you to go further along the jagged path. The path slowly turns from a path, to a climb up a mountain. However, when the path becomes too difficult, you take the nice soft path again. Sadly, some do not make it out of the forest before their time is up.

However, the process begins again, when that person is reborn in the middle of the forest. The cycle begins again. Just as you were reborn in the middle of the forest. However, there is a difference. The previous run through the forest has lasting effects. When you take that path out of the forest, you follow it further. Your strength and determination to make it out was not lost. It is conserved between lifetimes.

Eventually, there is an end to the forest. It is easy to tell when you are close to escaping the forest, as the trees become less dense. Their glare feels as if you were in a clearing, but they no longer close in on you like before. The judgement is still there, but it feels as if the shadow is leaving. The path begins to level off.

The jagged rocks and roots are still there, but as you travel, you learn how to avoid the rocks and roots. You learn the way of the forest. You learn how to shut out the voices of the trees, and the burning glare of the shadow. You gain a keen instinctual sense of how the forest works. Your eyesight increases to watch for danger; your intuition heightens to tell you where water and clearings are. The path does not become easier to travel, you become more adapted to the path.

And as you travel to the end of the path, there is a road sign. The path does not simply lead out of the forest, it leads further out. The difficulty is not finding the path at this point, but having the willpower to continue to travel it, even when it appears that it is barren, and desolate. The path you have followed leads out of the forest, and into a desert. The path is still very visible, but devoid of any life. Just sand. No plants, no cacti, no animals. Just the path. As far as you can see. It is here that you live with the path you have chosen. There are no other paths through the desert. Just the one you are following now. It is not jagged, or slippery. It is not steep or rough. It is remarkably simple. Happy to be free from the oppressive forest, from the lava burning hot stare of the trees and shadow, you practically sprint down this path.

The Desert Is a Ghodsend, a Blessing.

The other paths that taunt you with their softness and ease are gone. Just this one lone path. You slow to a walk, content with your choice. The forest is now but a dot in your vision as you turn around. If you sit down, and lose your way, the road signs let you know which direction you came from, and which direction you are to go. Just the one path. No others. No distractions. Just this one lone path. You can turn back, and go back into the forest, and choose another path, if you want. Or you can keep going through this barren wasteland of a desert, with the one lone path through it. And you might even do that. You might go back, and choose a different path.

And the cycle will begin again. And you might die before you get through the desert that lies at the end of each and every path out of the forest. But the only difference is, you would just start the cycle back over again. You would feel the judgement of the trees, and hike through the forest and exit, see the road sign, sprint out of the forest, and journey along the path through the desert. But as you journey along the path through the desert, the same thing that happened in the forest happens here. You adapt to the path. You retain your keen heightened abilities you gained through the forest, but you also gain a higher sense of yourself.

The trek through the desert has forced you to be with the one person you fear the most: you. You are the only company you have, you are the only other life form on the desert path, in fact, you are the only thing that moves on the desert path. For as far as the eye can see 360 degrees around you, is just sand. But as you adapt to the path, as you adapt to being alone, the path becomes easier.

And what was once a depressing lonely trudge through endless piles of sand, becomes a walk in the park. It is here, that the end of the desert is in sight. But you don’t sprint, you don’t feel any relief in the sight of the end of the desert. In fact, you might feel bad that the desert ends. You were quite enjoying it. Once you got over the incredible loneliness, it was easy. Simple. It was a break. But as you approach the end of the desert, another feature presents itself. It is a cliff.

A Canyon.

Bigger than any other canyon, the other side is not visible. It is as if the world itself just ends. The bottom of the canyon is not visible. All you can see is the face of the cliff you stand on disappear into nothingness. Not darkness, almost just a fog. The path just ends. There is no other way to go. And you know what you have to do. Everyone knows what they have to do.

If the forest ended in a cliff, everyone would seek out another path, fearing to make the choice. The forest alone does not prepare one for making that kind of choice. That is the desert’s job. So once you reach the cliff, you feel there is no reason not to make the choice. If you walked all the way back through the infinite desert, back into the forest, leaving both would be a simple matter.

The forest would pose no threat, your keen senses would protect you. The desert would be no issue, you might actually enjoy walking through another. And you would find, as you reach the end of that other path, that it too ends in a cliff. Doing that would be simply for curiosity’s sake. However, once you reach that cliff, you have already made the choice. Reaching that cliff, the issue is not to decide, the issue is to figure out why you decided the way you did.

The issue is to find out why you make the leap of faith. That is what the cliff requires. We have all already made the choice, now we have to find out why we made the choice.

It is difficult for me to say where I am on this cycle. I feel as if I am exiting the forest, and at the same time, crossing the desert, and at the same time, deciding if I want to jump or not, and a the same time, falling.

I realise now, I am doing all of these things. There is no such concept of time in this forest. Time is relative to me, and me alone. In this journey, I am on my own schedule. If I encounter someone else, I can empathise with them. If they are in the forest, I remember how it feels to be in that forest. If they are on the desert, I too know how it feels to be in the desert, and if they are deciding to jump, I too know how that feels as well.

The thing is, we are never alone. I can leave breadcrumbs in someone’s forest. A line. A mark, A road sign. I can leave these things to help someone through their own forest, and along their own desert path. They choose whether they want to follow those crumbs or not. The help I give can even be so much as to leave someone a detailed map and compass to help them through their forest, and I can walk with someone along their desert path. But it is still their choice. I cannot take them and force them to follow the path. It is their choice every one has free will after all... And whatever they choose is of no concern to me.

It’s Their Cycle, Not Mine.

But there is something more to all of this, I can feel it. It is as if I have an O ring welded to my chest, and a steel cable is pulling me along my own path. It feels like I am being constantly inspired to write, to draw & paint, to create, to do SOMETHING!

It is as if there is a giant winch at the end of the path, standing at the edge of the cliff. It feels like my chest is about to be ripped off of my ribcage. I can resist all I want, but no matter what I do, it will always be pulling. I am in control, however. And I have to do all the work. I have to walk over broken glass and ice to get to this winch. It is not a physical pull, but a mental one. It is a calling of sorts.

A Drive.

Shamanism chooses you, not the other way around. The thing I do not know, is if everyone is chosen.

Even the feeling itself is a metaphor with libraries of information to be gleaned. It is pulling, not pushing. It is saying, “Come to me” instead of, “go that way”. It is pulling, not forcing. It is driving, not controlling. It is compelling. IT is gentle, but powerful. It is reinforcing, not degrading. It is positive reinforcement, not negative.

I know what it feels like to be on the soy sauce. It feels like a constant epiphany. It feels like you know something HUGE, but you cannot put it into words. You are aware, and cognizant of everything. Nothing escapes your gaze. Nothing escapes your awareness.

And I realise what I’ve done. I’ve made the choice. I’ve taken the leap of faith. I’ve taken the soy sauce. And I’m falling. Once you make the leap, the path takes over. You no longer work, you use your skills. You no longer force, no longer suffer from other people. The path takes over, and your skills are freed up for other things.

No matter how much I write, no matter how much I realise, there is still this sun-sized ball of epiphany that I know I know. I can feel it. It is massive. I know I know it. But the problem is, I need to know it consciously. I can feel it coming in little trickles.

Like The Drips Of a Half-open Faucet.

Falling is not a bad thing. It is simply another form of the path. It is here that the path takes over, and it guides you. You have no fear of falling. There is no fear of what lies at the end of the fall. You simply surrender yourself to the path. And that is the choice. You have to realise that it is here that you let yourself be guided by the path you have been struggling to follow. It is as if the path itself is a relationship. At first, it’s rocky and hard.

But if you stick with it, it eases up. But then, the truth of the path shows itself. It is a lot more that what it was underneath. You see the path for what it really is. And once you are comfortable with what the path is, it asks you to let it have control. The path is really yourself. At first, you fight and struggle, then you realise who you really are, and finally, you make the choice. You choose to give up control to who you really are. That is why nobody who is presented with the choice denies it.

Because at that point, you are comfortable with yourself enough to jump, rid yourself of the person you created, and surrender to who you really are. The path itself is shamanism as well. At first, it is rocky and hard. And then, you see a break as a desert, and have to come to terms with what the path really is. And finally, it asks you to surrender yourself to it, and jump. This may very well be the greatest metaphor I’ve ever written.

There are so many little details I want to add to my piece. But that is for refinement. Right now, I’m writing for myself. I wasn’t writing this to anyone else, or for anyone else.

This Was All For Me Really.

Screw everyone and how they’ll react to this, if I ever post it, but I will post it as its time to do so..

 This piece feels perfect the way it is, and as it is, it is not suitable for it to be posted on any other network sites. I feel like modifying it will degrade it. even if it may sound like I'm repeating myself in word form on every line. Even all of this part. It is all one large snapshot of me jumping. Surrendering. The metaphor itself is wonderful, and absolutely amazing.

The biggest thing I realise is that there really is no path. There never was a path, and there never will be. The entire time, the path was an illusion.

You Blaze The Path.

There are an infinite number of paths out of the forest. This means that the paths are indistinguishable from the forest itself.

"Where one person sees a path, the other sees a massive amount of jagged rocks and broken glass. Where one sees a desert path, the other sees a pile of sand".

The only thing that matters is which way we choose to go, how we adapt, and if we choose to stay on the same path or not. The other distracting paths all lead off in other directions.

I can feel the “soy sauce high” beginning to fade. But I still know there is this sun-sized ball of epiphany in here within me, waiting for me to find. However, what I also know is that the faucet is no longer dripping. The epiphanies are over just for now at least.

Now it is just time for me to simply be & just think some more & walk forwards, & maybe paint it instead...

~care to join me...

Raven Leads My Way Again..

Ꮙℓἇ∂ἇ..aka Reɪvən ღ

© - All Right Reserved

All Images google searched & belong to their respected owners, unless stated otherwise.

Part 1 can be found:-here

[Julie]

Many thanks for the meeting of Grandmother Dr Rangimārie Rose Pere Vlada, a true force of nature.

Yes 'envisioning' is a good word.  There are many people who see through the realms, this can be a truly beautiful experience

Tara.... dragonfly world is a very magical place, I appreciate the gift of seeing

[Tara]

I’m still blown away by the dragonflies!! And the music and poetry. So lovely 

[ënagualí~ᏉLAᗪἇ ኔጡ።]

Thank-you for your added thoughts I so gel with them all, like like catching butterflies for sure, & planting seeds, I always said that I plant thought seeds into people and they grow fast,.. and yes we artists/writers/poets are just naturals at it..in a sense we are the system busters, breaking down old notions with new ones.. Of cause they want to shut us down dumb us down, take now this AI technology online, interfering with our true nature realities is another means of artificial brain washing & control & this wont just by only artists in creating pictures, but online & television & everywhere else in our realities we go, it then gets twisted in our minds by fake imagery.. we had enough of billboards brainwashing us into purchasing and also dumbing down ones mind, now they want to twist our minds and think its not going to effect us, when it certainly will be.

Your Maori shaman you mention is right when they said,.. '

the more we open up to light the deeper we need to flow with the earth'. ..

As the Maori Kaumatua I speak to in my line of work all the time, I get so deeply infused in their notions of old, but spiritually anew, they are so in tune with nature & humanity, though she has passed away now, but I loved listening to Grandmother Dr Rangimārie Rose Pere..

she gave such powerful korero, I got to see her on the marae only once and she said this to me when I spoke to her:-

Ka whakapiki I tōku manawa nā te rongo I ōu kōrero ē . Karore ki ngā hau e taku wairua, ka rongo I ōu kōrero, ka tatū mai nei ki te āō tangata, ka wairua tau noa.He reka te tere o te reo. Maringi mai te ha o nga kupu ki a matou ngo mokopuna aroha...

[Translated:- Hearing your words, increases my breath. I am not in the air, my soul, when I hear your words, I come to the human world, and my soul will be calmed by them. The speed of the voice is sweet. Pour out these words to our grandchildren love.]...

She was so knowledged & instructed by her elder descendants, she also said that the Scots are learning again how to speak Gàidhlig, Elders "Grannies are Teaching in Storytelling the Knowledge that has been forgotten, much of it was from the other realms you mentioned to me here too..I'll never forget her warmth on my hands as she held mine together in hers..

In remembrance of her may we remember and share her teachings, exuding that very same love, humility and her desire to share the kōre tu iho (Māori oral tradition of passing down knowledge through words, drama and poetry) may she guide us in our efforts towards cultural revitalisation, and decolonising our minds so that we can possess a truly unadulterated view of the world. Māori orientation, Māori way of looking at the world. They are connected to each other, those who have departed to the final home of the human soul, pour out your poems until dinner, till we meet again.

So yes I will be just me and I will never speak that word 'Imagination' it will always be 'envisioning' and going back into the ethereal realms to revisit what we have witnessed & experienced by soul before coming back into incarnated human form again,..it is much like the Akaishic records too when people claim they can enter them & bring forth knowledge, to relay to a person..  they are totally fools & just fake medium/charlatan's as only the real soul who created these lived experiences can view them themselves, no one else can enter on a souls behalf and relay info back for them, the gate keeper guardian of a souls records will challenge anyone else who tries to enter another souls recorded experiences or who is not the one who is worthy & owns the visions within there, they can only enter their own records.

Many humans are still unauthentic and swindle & scam naive & vulnerable people so often online & especially moreso in many spiritual social media websites sadly.

[Julie]

"I was also told I had a vivid imagination as a child, and I hated that word with vengeance and still do as an adult who knows the truth of it, cos that word instills that everything a child sees in the other dimensional realms is not real at all when it totally is its a souls qualia"

Yes it's like a total obliteration of what you know when you're constantly told "its just your imagination" like it's something that's not even a part of you, so that's perhaps why as adults we begin to question things, then after a time we accept it's an intrinsic part of our soul dimension.  I'm glad we've got this space to relate in Vlada, it's good hearing what you have to say.

Yes good idea about making an article.

"I also speculate that some ideas and thoughts find homes." - it's like being a catcher of butterflies Vlada, those with the opened mind\heart, when in reverie can "catch the line" or thought and bring it home.  One night I heard "softly softly feel the roar of carpeted feet upon the floor...I wonder if I just had my net handy and I caught the words....

I've noticed through the years of participating online that particularly artists/writers/poets have the seeds and when the time is ripe for the seeds to grow, a picture or poem comes into creation and through reading/listening/seeing/feeling things we are constantly birthing the new evidence of "a network" from which we either feel impulsed into sharing or we can store the evidence for a future date when the "climate of perception" is ripe to "tell the story".

"but one cant stay in the light forever without wearing rose tinted glasses lol..so they are blinded by too much light so much they are actually out of balance but don't know it or vice versa"

From my experience, working with a shaman who lived in Australia but was from New Zealand I experience the powerful energies of darkness, earth force engeries perhaps.  Maori bloodline but with roots in Scotland.  It feels very different.  There is some global evidence that the more with open up to light the deeper we need to flow with the earth.  We are substance too as we are in earthly bodies - our encasements where we can show ourselves and interact physically.  Hand holding can be a beautiful and loving experience connecting us to our hearts.

Yes I've met several close friends whose lives have been very much influenced through the religion they were brought up in and not all in a beneficial way to them becoming their best selves.

[ënagualí~ᏉLAᗪἇ ኔጡ።]

Ahhh thank-you Julie its pretty obvious from your words here that you and I get on well because we both think alike and relate alike, yes I am open to give & receive from the heart always, I was also told I had a vivid imagination as a child, and I hated that word with vengeance and still do as an adult who knows the truth of it, cos that word instills that everything a child sees in the other dimensional realms is not real at all when it totally is its a souls qualia, its exactly where the fairy's dwell the inter-dimensional light beings, ones scepters, guardians & guides etc they all reside above 3D, the ethereal realms they are just amazing spaces, divided into different spaces, its where artists get their visions from to bring forth for their art pieces, its everything we have created ourselves via our Higher-self in other lifetimes even of which we dont realise weve done and that's why they are not able to be viewed or reside on Earths 3D plane of reality in other words, well not until the creator of it brings it forth into this 3d reality... and this is why people get their third eye shut down by this false notion & indoctrination by their naive parents telling them its not real when it totally is.. and then they struggle to open it up again in their adulthood as their third eye is calcified & closed to dumb them down, thus stripping them of their higher-self powers...

 

Our realities are affected by words and by our perceptions, humans need to adopt a "what's possible" view using the ethereal realm to step outside the Matrix to make ones knowledge better, which can ultimately benefit ones self and the world in pursuit of higher evolutionary consciousness..

At Uni I was taught that envisioning is all about reference. It's a river of contemplation and experience. Lets take William Shakespeare as an example he had an immense ability to create new words. The experience of feeling/thinking up a new word (conjugation/meaning/defining/spelling/etc) is all based on the past and current mechanistic (brain activity) experience as a human. Free will is an illusion, physicists are correct. The experience of free will (as a conscious creature) is real (qualia) , therefore the recognition of such (one's own qualia) has an effect on those who recognise their experience of free will, allowing an opening/widening of experience and thought, itself. envisioning  is a process of perpetual contemplation and reference to perpetually more novel concepts.

So how amazing it is that a fuzzy little thought can become an action, which in turn, transforms into reality. We are creator souls after all. We just choose which envisioning thoughts become reality. I also speculate that some ideas and thoughts find homes. If someone doesn’t want to bring it into reality, this idea might manifest in someone else instead, hence great minds think alike. Its kinda like that mantra, “see a need fill a need,” and I almost wonder if as a human species, we all see a collective issue, as our brains work like a network. Pseudo science gets a bad reputation, but I’ll be honest… some stuff seems tantalisingly intriguing. Idk.. I just refuse to believe that we are simple humans put on earth for simple things we can do better.

I walk a path in multi-dimensional realms here on this planet some they are on the dark side & some the light side to have 100% balance for sure, the Ying & Yang, but one cant stay in the light forever without wearing rose tinted glasses lol..so they are blinded by too much light so much they are actually out of balance but don't know it or vice versa as in regards to that girl you met.. it manifests also in those who get easy offended by simple truths in words or comments, or those who have been brain washed in religions, they cant move past what has been indoctrinated into their minds..e.g take that GFOL lady who thinks I'm evil based solely on my email address cos it had the word evil in it is a classic example of this dumbed down type of mindset lol..

Most of the people criticise envisioning too.. Because they don't dare to envision anything big in their own mundane life.. they will never connect to their higher-self either...That's why they are living an ordinary life.. They are unaware of the Power & beauty of the ethereal realms thus fear anything outside of this 3D realm of  this Matrix reality....The old saying comes to mind :- 'one will always fear that which they do not understand'  truths!!...think I'll save this discussion as I've delved deep in comments that I might make a post of it all later.

[Julie]

We are yes, and yes for sure those with an open heart tend to jump in or perhaps pulled in is a better term, where there's a need to be met whether it's human, animal, or any other form of life.  Touch is a good thing and touch is from the heart... I'm the same. When I was little I seemed to be told often I was too sensitive/too imaginative, all in your imagination went into adulthood too.  Yes I'm familiar with that too Vlada, I've seen it in others and myself....giving away stuff.  My thought was here that are you open to receive as well as give, balance between back and front heart chakra points.  I was described as a child as being wilful...I knew what I liked and didn't like.... that I feel is about knowing yourself.  Yes wanting folks to be happy I'm familiar with that too.  Sometimes folks like to be unhappy.  I remember a young girl online saying this to me, she liked to wallow in this state of being, she didn't want to be pulled up or out or whatever, she liked her state of being.

There's so much said online about operating from the heart, and yet it feels vulnerable and difficult at times.  

You're who you were made to be and that takes guts, nerve and a true sense of belonging to your path.  I hope this helps in some way if anyone else reads.  Authenticity is needed in this world where everyone struggles with how they should feel and how they do feel.  We are each a unique gift, an expression of life itself.

[ënagualí~ᏉLAᗪἇ ኔጡ።]

Yeah thats a good point, 'unfillable' I get that..but then I cant change who I am as a person either, as I have an open heart space that cant be closed.. We are socialised from an early age to please people so that we fit in. Be nice, don't pinch that little boy, wait your turn, say thank-you & please etc... it starts as toddlers I know my nanny was on my case all the time she had to be I was a handful as a kid, extremely needy due to being overly sensitive, plus I thrived for affection more than normal kids in the way of human touch as a coping mechanism...

I think it was tough to get it right because a lot of the time the way we express love is a direct reflection of what we were deprived of as children. So you might not recognise the damage you're doing to yourself in order to please others, in my case this was what I struggled with.. When I was younger my way of making friends was just giving them my stuff, many times Nanny had to ask the parents for my things back...Thankfully I grew out of this but as I got older I realised it was very much tied in to wanting people to like me and trying to please them in some way as I want everyone to be happy...to some degree I still like to gift people but I know what I'm doing it for these days as just simple kind hearted gifting, not wanting anything in return..it is just who I am..

[Julie]

I was so mesmerised Tara into that prolonged moment\moments over several days that I didn't even think of taking a photo and I love taking photos ;)

I can hear you Vlada, people pleasing is a hard task as you end up pleasing no person because what they want is unfulfillable, so just like I do go with what is right for you in that moment.  I've found in my "skin life" if I try and please everyone I end up being totally exhausted myself.

[ënagualí~ᏉLAᗪἇ ኔጡ።]

[People say I just don’t care but I am learning how to breathe and it’s hard to believe I never knew that before.

People say so many cruel and heartless comments but it has lead me to my garden]

Well I get people online who accuse me of the most bizarre off the wall stuff just out of the blue from nowhere. It shocks me to my core  too when it happens and I'm left standing there scratching my head thinking like WTF are u serious? why?.... it's the most bizarre situation I've ever been in.. I can't understand it, when I try to defend myself, they ignore everything I say like I never even said a response to them at all.. I ask them if they really believed that of me. I couldn't even say anything anymore, I'm left crushed and crying, yes I'm a sensitive person being I'm a full empath, I cant control my emotions... its like they accuse me of not caring enough when I've given more and more you can imagine over the years and in many websites online too...I get a feeling like I'm being used & betrayed, so my heart hurts when people do this and they dont see me for who I really am, and what I do..

I'm such a people pleaser its not funny but still it appears still thats not enough.. I then think they actually must have mental health issues not dealt with, that they are unable to see people nor for what they do, because being online they cant see the person physically and thus rely on their words only possibly some they dont understand?  or people will often live in self denial so they don't have to change. So they can hold someone else accountable to change instead of themselves. It's easier pointing the finger, shifting blame into others than taking responsibility to do what's necessary within themselves.

Some people over a long period of time can appear to be genuine - yet they are not. You will get subtle hints - I look for consistency in their behavior toward me. I do pay attention to how they treat others and their outlook or frame of reference in life..so when they turn in behaviour suddenly I'm left dumbfounded & stunned.

I then have to retreat back into nature as its my calm world, and I do forest bathing as its healing, I become more calm and serene, the soothing music of nature pushes my mind to become more stable and relaxed. The locations I got to are just awesome, beautiful, hewn beauty, alluring, swarming with nature fae orbs that surround me and connect & talk, I can't express this any better..

[Tara]

P.s. love this video thank you!