Heroes ~ Recall

[Julie]

Heroes ~ A Series of verses

I Died too

 

On a hill

I found my lover

weeping

he died

his heart was full

of love

I died too

*

Broken Sword

 

One look

one kiss of the blade

the air spoke

my life ended

the wind carried

the message

*

Double Jeopardy

 

It was meant to be

you and I

the journey ended

in death

you were my life

and I yours

without you

my world was

empty

*

I Found Home

 

You use your heart like a sword

many times it wounded me

but I am still with you

a blade of grass killed me

now...the sword has no power

only love has power

I found home

it was with you

it cost me my life

*

Open Heart

The world is a mirror

of our love

no colour opens my heart

it was always open

I just acknowledged it

*

Tai ~ Julie

July 2012

triggered when I met my friend online who died a few years ago

we used to chat on Ning - he always used to say I took the words out of his mouth, like I knew what he was about to say

I got a vision too of Native Americans with black feathers, recollections are a bit vague, but the woman was carrying a basket...may be a soul catcher...this was about three weeks before he died

 

[ënagualí~ᏉLAᗪἇ ኔጡ።]

Oh thats sad you lost a friend,I've lost a few close ones myself over the years online,but also I predicted one persons death via a vision I had,that freaked me out so much I told this lady concerned of my vision,..well she laughed at me & said it would never happen,I was not to worry...well I left it there what else could I do..then years later after I'd left that website,.. another person who knew her in the physical came to tell me she had passed away exactly as I had predicted & had told her.. which wasn't pleasant as she passed away in a house fire and this lady told me she wished her friend had of listened to me.. but she also told me I was a great psychic to predict such a thing in the first place...freaky aye..

[Julie]

Yes 3 of my friends on AnewGaia died within a short time, then a while later I found that a two more online friends had died, it always makes me wonder if the lady that created poetry showcase had died too.

Yes it does feel freaky when we get either a premonition or vision, it's spirit I give for warning us and preparing us for our friends passing.

I got an idea to get in touch with my friend who lives nearby a couple of days ago as I'd dreamed of her and her hubby, she got back in touch to say she'd had a pace maker fitted at Easter and she'd like us to meet up.  

[ënagualí~ᏉLAᗪἇ ኔጡ።]

Ahh see the thing is online you may not also know how old people are for starters or what underlying health conditions they suffer from either, and when most are elderly then there are some who are bound to pass away..

Well when you meet your friend again..do tell her how much you love her & appreciate she got back in touch again,..cos if shes had a pacemaker fitted she has heart issues and you just never know how long she has still aye?..dont mean to sound morbid..just saying..

I have clients pass away all the time, I had one not so long ago too.. collapse & have a stoke,then his family put him in a home and he was drugged & starved cos he couldn't swallow, he was gone in a week.. I was peeved when I found that out...but my boss said that is common procedure under those circumstances,.. because it would have been traumatic for him otherwise....gees I learn heaps..

Yet even though I've kinda been conditioned to loosing them now, when I first started working in this industry,the first one who passed was a young girl not even 12yrs old,she had leukemia for years and had been in remission a few times in that time,but she couldn't attend public school anymore ..and it eventually took her... when she passed I was so sad I cried,yet she wasn't even my family...then there was that 18yr old kid who had a brain tumor I told you about..

but another a elderly gent little did I know he had colon cancer and I wasn't told this either,..confidentiality act see..and he chose not to tell me either...so he was just living out his days,but he loved spending time with me cos I gave him the time to talk and he said I held good intellectual conversations,... plus he loved to banter debate....

I shared my own life tales and he liked that about me,he also told me his life tales too, it was wonderful he was once a train driver on steam trains down South Island..we had never a dull moment..though one day he told me he was going back down the track lines to his families reunion down south island,and they were going to take him on a steam train down there,which I thought was awesome and asked when he got back would he tell me how it went & share some photo's,he said sure he would one day.. I didn't click to him saying 'one day'..next I heard he'd gone down their to die,his family had arranged he go into hospice care and as he was from the south Island originally and still had family there, they just came and got him in is last days..I was told later that he'd passed and he did go on a steam train again for his funeral but he was in his coffin....

cos when I asked how,was it natural causes?.. and this was what they told me,yet he'd hidden it all from me..but he left me a large hoya plant from his home it took years to finally flower..and a card he'd written with it saying thanks for the great times I'd spent with him over the years and to keep doing what I did best..I thought that was nice..

[Julie]

Yes, Karen her name is, we've know each other for years.  We both wanted to start up a meditation group, so for the first few years she did the group, then I did.  She's a bit younger than me so it shook me up after hearing her news the other day.  Hoping to see her Monday, she'll let me know, if not Monday sometime soon Vlada.

Yes, there has been trauma upon trauma, but still we each give what we can and when we can to those who need a hand/support.  It's good that we have online friends and offline.  With online friends yes we never know what happens to some of them, we had a good community on Anewgaia, then things fell apart.  On the FOL group I have two old souls who I've know for years, one since 2008 and the other I'd know of but didn't interact too much with until he joined Poetry Showcase, both I know are elderly.  The other lady I write with I've known for less time, but she's been on several of the networks I've been on.  The pain somehow seems stronger with online friends, the first friend I had when he died I literally cried for days.

Thanks for sharing your story with me Vlada

[ënagualí~ᏉLAᗪἇ ኔጡ።]

Oh your welcome...Yes I just speak things as they are being real just like yourself...but I've also been told many times to stop being so nice & humble & so open book,.. I'm like how can I do that though,its who I am and part of my whole character, I'm just being me and its how I communicate with people in a trusting manner..but I get where they are coming from they are trying to protect me from nasty folk online that cause harm..I do push back and say at least I'm not a fake person I dont manipulate people like so many online can be like..but yes when you loose someone you've connected to on a deeper level online then they are just gone thats sad in itself..

[Julie]

That's a phrase my artist friend uses Vlada, he says just be you Tai...so I'm trying to be as authentic as is needed when I share things here with you and Tara.  

[Julie]

[ënagualí~ᏉLAᗪἇ ኔጡ።]

Well its right, be your authentic self always..this is what I teach also being just me,.. why should you try to be something who you are not,besides just how long could you keep the act up too,you dont have to act when your being real.....the thing is that I've found often is that those like myself who are authentic & real tend to become misunderstood,.. as the world is largely full of inauthentic people. The authentic person therefore becomes a loner,.look at what happened to me when I tried to join that site,come on!.. do you think I wouldn't have fitted in there now I've unfolded potions of myself in here,you get to see me fully... but someone with issues did not,..solely based off nothing.. a word?... but moreso by being inauthentic themselves, see it just creates more issues for them in the long run..as people with Ego like that would have us be termed as cruel and hurtful to everyone.. just because of a word that was used as a email address!!... But letting love in & showing it outwardly is learning who you were & made to be and letting go of the dead vines of iniquity.

I always say if you cant be true to self then who can you be true to,always stay authentic,..The wounded healer will not thrive in a toxic controlling environment anyway, I was already asking how to bypass it with Ametrine,I didn't get to see her response to my question though...maybe thats why cos that woman knew I'd rebel... so she probably thought get rid of me fast before I create havoc I guess.. lol IDK...

Taikunping avatar ~ Julie Parry said:

That's a phrase my artist friend uses Vlada, he says just be you Tai...so I'm trying to be as authentic as is needed when I share things here with you and Tara.  

[Julie]

Yes and I tell him I cannot be any other than me Vlada, I think that sometimes he sees himself in me as I act as a mirror for him to see himself more clearly.  I feel that I do not need to hold back my full self here on this network.

Myself knows me and I guess some like the above mentioned only want/desire to see what they want to see.